Time goes fast and slow when you're having a baby. That funny mix of, "Has it really been that long since I blogged/sewed/ate/saw another adult??" and, "How am I only 21 weeks? Wasn't I 20 weeks a month ago?" It feels like I blogged yesterday, and March, my due date, is ten years away.
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| My friends' 'Fire Quilt' |
Blogging and sewing is such a great way of documenting productivity, don't you think? They are two things (maybe especially in a mother's life?) that when you're done, you have something to show for it. And you have people comment on how clever you are. I have had to start having conversations with myself like this:
Me: I didn't make it to the machine or computer
again today.
Me: Yes, but you helped the kids tidy their disaster of a room, baked banana bread, and did a bit of homeschooling. You are amazing.
Apart from the last week of sick kids, I have actually been quite productive, and not just in the 'keeping my kids alive and growing a baby' sense. I had my last stint at The Olive Tree Market for this year, and somehow, amazingly finished up these three quilts in the three days leading up to it. Most of my quilt making experiences involve a moment where I say, "Oh. This is going to take heaps longer than I expected." Somehow, with these three, I was finished before I could get close to having that thought.
(this photo melts my heart every time!)
Then I came home and photographed and listed everything in my Etsy shop. Hoping to clear it all out before baby, folks! There's a big rack of girls clothes right where I want the cradle to go.
And I had my 20 week scan, which was the most perfect scan experience one could hope for (apart from some cheeky crossed legs!). The sonographer kept finding clearer views of everything so I could have another look. She was so kind and thorough. These are my favourites.
In the end, she tried yet another look at the 'bits', got a quick peak and said, "Ooh, I think...yeah I'd go '____'. She seemed about 70% sure, so we're keeping it a secret. (Tim didn't want anyone to know anyway, but I was going to talk him around!) I didn't realise I'd set my heart on one or the other till I heard her say those words. And my first reaction was disappointment, then surprise at my reaction, then guilt. I had one of each! What did I have to be disappointed about?! Thank goodness for good friends who help me be gentle with myself, who talked about their own experiences. Truth be told, I think I would have felt that sinking feeling no matter what news I received. We're planning this to be our last, so there's that, "Oh! No more little girls/boys..." sadness. And both my kids were wonderful and challenging in their own way. And so many of my memories are wrapped up in their gender. So there was the "Oh, I don't want another difficult sleeper/big feeder/insert other common baby challenge here!" But I am making a whole new person. And once I let myself think it all through, I became very excited. Can anyone else relate?
And now... Do I make pink/blue/neutral? Or do I wait? What would you do? xx
