Homecoming

                    

I'm home. And I have been so cared for. I had my miscarriage at home, just Tim and I. The kids were away camping on a weekend planned months ago. And while awful, it was a relief to be alone, to not need the intervention I've had with my other births, to be given space to trust my body.

I'm learning that grief is a waiting game. 

And that the loss of a child (or the hope of one) is not the only grief, but the loss of a routine and direction and identity. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm not completely without direction (or the other things that make me me). And I'm glad for the choice to come home. Excited even. I'm just continually surprised at the seemingly chaotic mix of hopeful, sunny days and acutely-aware-of-the-change-of-plans days.

I've enjoyed reclaiming our front sunroom as my new workspace. With the cooler weather approaching, I look forward to spending sunny winter days in here. I enjoyed unpacking my fabric into this wall shelf that used to be full of Tim's hoarded electronics. I think it's happier with these colours!

I've sorted most of my scraps into these bins. They are all full from 4 pillowcases of fabric. I still have 2 pillowcases left! But I've put these away in a cupboard for when these bins empty a little.
And do you notice my new friend? I got her second hand, hardly touched for a fraction of the cost of a new one. I'll introduce you properly later. But for now you just need to know we are getting along like a house on fire, and I've called her "Red".

I've started on some scrappy quilts, building a lovely pile of works-in-progress while I give myself time to just make whatever tickles my fancy.
And I've set up my iron under the window facing the tree. When it's not raining, this is where the winter sun comes through.
I'm looking forward to those days.
xx

A brief visit.

I think I knew the moment the sonographer put his little camera to my belly. But I still waited for him to say, "Oh, yep. There's the head, there's his little heart."
There was no such chatter, just a long silence as we both looked at the screen which showed only a small circle, silent and still.
He let me leave out the back door. "I'm guessing you don't want to wait for the prints."

Our brief little visitor was a surprise one. First met with fright and insecurity, and then with courage and freedom to make room for him, to let some things go, then confidence, and excited anticipation. And then grief.

I decided to keep this quilt for myself, because I couldn't face anything related to work, no matter how relaxing. I finished the binding, left the rest of the quilting for another day, and rested beneath it. And for now, that's all we plan to do.
We've decided to pack up my space in town, and bring the colours back home and wait and see.

a cheeky quilt

Some quilts, while just lovely on the outside, are secretly scheming on the inside to throw you off kilter. Take this one, for example. Made with just 8 prints, each 2.5" strips. I sewed them together with white strips, cut those, sewed those, (one day I will show you in pictures what I mean), counted, did the maths, kept sewing. When suddenly, all sewn together, I had one very long, but beautiful strip of colourful squares. It was more the shape of a wide table or bed runner, tha a baby quilt. But I would not be deterred. I chopped off the top, sewed extra wide strips on either side and ended up with this...

 I have to say, I was fairly chuffed with myself. I had even remembered to make sure the finished top was the same as the usual width of fabric so I ddn't have to piece the back. I used a beautiful Japanese linen/cotton blend for the back, basted and hand-quilted.
After several hours of hand-quilting (ie, several hours of the West Wing), while nonchalantly snipping pearl cotton threads, I snipped a small but sinister hole in the quilt top!
I have 'patched' this up with some zig-zag stitching and you can't tell when you look at the whole quilt. But I was still devastated!

Then, while merrily sewing the binding on (in the shop, listening to Slava Grigorian. Have you heard of him? Best sewing music ever), of course, a big fat seam landed right on the 3rd corner, making it almost impossible to bind neatly. I perhaps would have been more tempted to unpick the binding and start again had I not already cut a hole in it, and if I hadn't broken my quick unpick trying to get a hook off the wall (that's a story for another day!), but I pressed on. This cheeky quilt will just have to be proudly handmade, imperfections and all.

On a happier note, I did put my very last sewing machine needle right through this baby, only 30 minutes into my day. It would have been a sad tale if that had snapped too!

A Quilt for a Rainy Day

I made this quilt for my Mum and Dad for Christmas and gave it to them on the weekend, our first chance to get together for Christmas lunch.

 I finished the top on Thursday at the shop, stood at my counter for half of Friday staring at fabric for the back (oh how I love making quilts that fit inside a normal width of fabric!). I ended up discarding most of these because a lovely lady came in, loved the look of those prints together and order a quilt for her baby due next month!



I broke quilt making rules and sewed on the binding before quilting it (and measured the binding 2 inches too short! Argh!). I finished the binding 5 minutes after our little arcade closed with the security guard waiting for me to lock up the building. 

Then Saturday, the kids and I caught the train to Sydney and I stitched and stitched. And then when I arrived, I stitched, and after dinner and then next day during breakfast and opening gifts and after lunch during Gran's visit, I stitched, all the while aware of the constant rain outside, wondering if I would get a chance to take photos in Mum's garden before we lost what little light we had.

We took these photos in the rain, quickly, mum worried about the quilt and me worried about the camera. Thankfully they worked. I just love this leafy spot for photos. I'll have to bring some more of my quilts down here!

 This was such an easy pattern to follow for such an effective result. You can find the pattern here.   Also, these process photos were taken on Instagram, my new favourite social media tool. You can follow me here to see what colour we're making day to day. :)

Bricks for Boys

Another quilt finished! These days, with my three days in the shop, I've been aiming to get a quilt pieced and basted ready to take home to quilt. Then I hand-quilt it in the evenings and rest times, hopefully done by the time I'm back at the shop the next Thursday for binding. Holding this quilt for me is the ever so lovely Janet from Cashmere and Silk, the shop next door to me. Janet has taught Fashion Design and Small Business Management at TAFE (College), and is so generous with her knowledge and experience. I feel like I have struck upon a gold mine! And, she's happy to hold quilts for me to!

This quilt actually started its life as a postage stamp quilt. I wasn't intending for the linen or brick pattern, but as usually happens with my quilts, as I was piecing the little squares together, I realised it was going to be a little small. You see, I never use maths before a quilt. Ever. And I could say it gets me every time, but I like to think that the changes I have to make as I go are all part of my creative process, and if I stopped to count or measure, I might never start cutting! I'm sure I'll regret it someday, but at the moment I'm having fun!

I used a collection of basic prints, gingham, stripes, plaid, dots and then added this Essex Linen in Flax around each rectangle (the size block I was up to when I decided it would be too small!) I backed the quilt with the same prints and added these anchors from Out to Sea.

I then hand-quilted around the bricks in green and teal. I really love the way the linen softens the quilt, but still makes it playful. After I finished, I loved it so much, I almost wished I'd made it single bed size for Tully. In the end, I decided to put it in my shop window, and in my Etsy store. Tully has a quilt that he loves and Evie is such a pink-frills-girly-girl (she didn't get that from me!) that she would snub her nose at it! She'd like the one I'm working on now. I'll show you photos of that when the weather clears up.
xx

Little Boys Chevron Quilt.

I'm loving the time being in my shop is giving me to make quilts! Especially now that the Christmas rush has died down. Here's one I actually finished a while ago, but today all the planets have aligned and I had the right computer cords and gadgets to connect to the internet and blog while in here!

I made this quilt from a mix of greys, yellow, oranges and greens. I used a mix of novelty prints, all subtle and sweet. I sewed strips together in groups of four, then cut these shapes using the 60 deg line on my ruler. (Cutting the opposite direction for half of them!)

Then I sewed them together, one above the other into long, parallel lines, and sewed these ones together.

The result, I think, is a subtle, yet warm and fun baby quilt.

I backed it with these beautiful prints from Saffron Craig and Aneela Hooey and hand quilted every other row of zigzag. Come visit me in Hunter St to wrap it around you, or it's also available here.
Hope you're well! xx

P.S. What do you think of my new blog look? 

Beautiful Cushions

A cushion for Christmas is a lovely thing, don't you agree? Especially one to grace such a beautiful chaise lounge. For me, the perfect gift is an unnecessary one, a decorative one. I like beauty for Christmas.

I made these cushions and little fabric art for Tim's mum for our family Secret Santa. (She chose the recipients, do you think it was rigged? ;)) They were made to match the wall art above, a gift a few Christmases ago. I used a mix of scraps from my stash and leftovers from the wall hanging.

Ooh! Looking at these photos again makes me want to pull my scraps out! I've really appreciated everyone's encouragement with my {new} fabric fast this year. I'm up to day 5 (only 360 to go!) and have only had about 10 or 12 major doubting episodes! I feel like a scared caterpillar ready to leave the cocoon. Too daggy a metaphor? I hope not! It's helping me to embrace the challenge and anticipate the outcome.
A Colourful New Year to you!
Jodi. xx