Did I actually do that?

Orange juice, sunshine, wearing a t-shirt and flowy skirt. Newcastle is treating us well these days. Tim's out, Tully's at Amanda's (daycare) and Eve's asleep. And Katie Melua is serenading me. In fact, just to feel the vibe with me, you should open a new tab, go to youtube and find a Katie Melua tune, maybe "You Taught me How to Dance." and then have it playing along in the background while you keep reading. Go on. I'll wait...

My first sales ready to post!

Well, this past week has been so far out of my comfort zone, I've hardly known what to do with myself. In some ways opening an online store has felt more me that I have for a long time. In others, it's gone against every natural grain in me.
I've always had such strong, idealistic views about 'valid' employment. For example:
Working with orphans: valid; social work: valid; feeding the poor in Africa: valid.
Marketing or advertising: greedy; writing: indulgent; making baby clothes and selling them online: extravagant.

I always thought I was going to live overseas. I've visited orphanages in Russia and the poverty-stricken in Poland, I've been to a church in Brunei decked out as a dance studio with all the blinds closed because they didn't have the freedom to express their personal beliefs in public (or even privately as a group).

Tim cuddling a deaf and blind boy in a Moscow Orphanage.

Oh man. I was about to go on confidently about 'but this is me and I just have to be me...' until I went looking for a photo to add interest and found this one.
And now I don't know.
While we were in Russia, we wanted to give everything to those kids. Then we came home and had our own...
Maybe I don't have to have all the answers. And maybe making something beautiful for someone to buy is as much a contribution to the world as cuddling a little blind boy. (Can it be?? Do I even need to compare it?) Maybe being who we are now is a beautiful contribution. And maybe there'll be another season where we head back over and give ourselves to those kids again.
A beautiful friend of mine who paints said to me yesterday, "My art isn't feeding starving children or rebuilding war-torn countries but it is beautiful."
And I thought it was so true! I would never scoff at her art because it isn't something else. It is what it was intended to be. Maybe I need to enjoy my creativity as if it was someone else's.

Anyway, this wasn't supposed to be a rambling, unsure, existential blergh. But more a "Look what I did! I can hardly believe it and I'm proud of myself!"
Thank you all for your excitement and encouragement. I sold 4 dresses and a drawstring mat on the weekend! So now I'm frantically sewing up a heap more for the markets on Saturday. It is very, very fun.
Will you keep trying to figure it all out with me?

Jodi. xx

"It seems to me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, we must hunger for them." - George Elliot.