Thursday, 23 June 2011

Space Invasion.

It's always challenging to think of a good way to start a blog post with "Play School" on in the background. But then, if the TV wasn't on in the background, I would have my 3yr old helping me type in the foreground. As it is, he's moved over to the couch next to me to sit up close, but otherwise has been transported to another dimension.

I've been thinking a lot this week about the invasion of children (and the television) into my world and body. It started when I put my back out over a week ago, an injury which still has me hobbling around like the hunchback of Notre Dame. It's a very common injury, the Physio said. Apparently 1 in 3 mothers endure it. All those worn out muscles left over from pregnancy.

Then it was Tim's last week at uni. There's never going to be a good time to put your back out, but if you were to choose just one particularly untimely week, it would be just before the big deadline for Tim's final year project, during the exam block. Suddenly instead of getting lost in his own world of wireless communications for the final touches, he was juggling that with changing nappies, cooking dinner, feeding babies, bringing me drugs, helping me to the bathroom. And then, when he finished, instead of a celebratory beer and a surf, he was back home for more of the same. He was cranky that the end felt like such an anti-climax. I was cranky that he felt like I was an anti-climax. Tully was cranky because he can't sit on my lap but Eve can. It's been a cranky week.

I told Tim one angry evening, "Yeah, well next time you study, you'll have to make sure you're not married with kids!"
That started a discussion about our vows. "For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health" sounded so wonderful five years ago. So safe. It did not at all warn me of the screaming pain of handing over my agenda for someone else's. Or my body, sleep, hot cup of tea...I just thought it meant that when I got sick, Tim would feel like waiting on me.

But despite the fact I can't remember the last time I finished a cup of tea while it was still hot, there are reasons I welcome the invasion of these strange creatures into my world.

- I like that Tully spontaneously bursts into song, walks around the house talking on his phone, does a nudey victory lap around the house every time he goes to the bathroom and says, "Oh, I just love you!" to his favourite people.
- I like that Eve scrunches up her nose when she smiles knowingly at me, gives an excited grunt, "hohoho!" and flaps her arms when I lay her down on my lap for a feed and wiggles into the kitchen to say hello (or eat the vacuum cleaner).
- I like that Tim takes Tully for bike rides, clenches his teeth when he's about to attack us affectionately, is doing the shopping as I write this, still writes letters to his friends and has graciously enjoyed the invasion of fabric and sewing into his office.

Putting Evie to bed and reading her a story.
"No Mum, Don't take my photo. I'm busy bumming (drumming)!"
 Bishop Jeremy Taylor said (a long time ago), "Marriage hath in it less of beauty but more of safety, than the single life; it hath more care, but less danger, it is more merry, and more sad; it is fuller of sorrows, and fuller of joys; it lies under more burdens, but it is supported by all the strengths of love and charity, and those burdens are delightful."

Kyla's jacket done!
Home delivered groceries in time for breaky!
 And beautiful Anna Maria had these reflections this week about her family: "I've learned (and I write this sitting in my utter mess of a dream studio) that its not the size of your space, the perfection of your organization skills or the cleanliness (what?) of your children that keeps you feeling all tucked in and happy.  It is actually just deciding to feel tucked in and happy.  Despite the mess.  Giving yourself the permission to let it be what it is.  A family living together in one space, with invisible boundaries.  Where much can be shared, discovered and learned (and dumped, and scribbled and torn apart too)." Find full post here.

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I so love your comments! I read all of them and reply when I can. If you don't hear back, I'm lost under a mound of scraps or outside jumping on the trampoline with the kids. Jodi. xx