Saturday, 16 March 2013

A brief visit.


I think I knew the moment the sonographer put his little camera to my belly. But I still waited for him to say, "Oh, yep. There's the head, there's his little heart."
There was no such chatter, just a long silence as we both looked at the screen which showed only a small circle, silent and still.
He let me leave out the back door. "I'm guessing you don't want to wait for the prints."


Our brief little visitor was a surprise one. First met with fright and insecurity, and then with courage and freedom to make room for him, to let some things go, then confidence, and excited anticipation. And then grief.


I decided to keep this quilt for myself, because I couldn't face anything related to work, no matter how relaxing. I finished the binding, left the rest of the quilting for another day, and rested beneath it. And for now, that's all we plan to do.
We've decided to pack up my space in town, and bring the colours back home and wait and see.





29 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry Jodi. Will keep you all in my prayers xo

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  2. Oh Jodi! Hugs hugs hugs thinking of you all i understand been there :(( xxxxxxxxx

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  3. Oh Jodi, I have no words. Prayers for you and your beautiful family.

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  4. Oh Jodi! So sorry! Now you have a little angel in heaven to keep you all safe. Have you and your family in my prayers.

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  5. Jodi, I am so very sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs and prayers from a mama who has been there. Wish I could hug you in person.

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  6. Oh Jodi, I am so very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family xxx

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  7. I am so sorry for your loss. I have been there. Sendings prayers and hugs your way. xoxoxo

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  8. I am so sorry for your loss. I have been there. Sendings prayers and hugs your way. xoxoxo

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  9. Although we have never met I am so sorry for you loss. I just lost my 26 yr old to suicide in Sept. I know the loss a mother feels. I pray for you as I do for me each night to find the comfort and peace to get stronger and continue life as we now know it. God's comfort to you and your family.
    Annette.

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  10. I wish I had the words to comfort you, Jodi. Just know that I'm sending you my love and prayers!!

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  11. I am so sorry to hear this. We lost our second pregnancy at 10 weeks. We were so devastated, but also happy to know we could conceive on our own. We went on to have a beautiful baby girl a year later. Many hugs to you during this difficult time.

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  12. I'm so sorry. I send you love and a healing hug. xoox

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  13. Oh Jodi, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Many hugs and prayers to you. xoxo

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  14. So sorry for your loss... Prayers of comfort going out for you!

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  15. Oh Jodi, I don't know what to say. This is such sad news. I am so sorry it happened to your family.

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  16. I've had that ultrasound experience too. It's devastating. Take care of yourself! Know that people care about you and your family.

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  17. Jodi I am so very sorry and sending you all my love. You are in my thoughts xxx

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  18. Devastating. Wishing you peace that passes all understanding.

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  19. How heartbreaking! I've been there, not expecting, then excited, then tears. Hugs from afar :)

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  20. I'm praying (and weeping) for you, Jodi. Just know that you are loved.

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  21. Big hugs to you and your family!

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  22. I just found your blog via the Festival of Strings. I also just had a brief visit with a little one, only to discover the same as you. I am so sorry.

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I so love your comments! I read all of them and reply when I can. If you don't hear back, I'm lost under a mound of scraps or outside jumping on the trampoline with the kids. Jodi. xx