Thursday, 4 August 2011

A Change in the Weather.

I think for the last two months I've been waiting. In June, Tim was busily finishing his degree, in July we went on holidays, got sick, organised a big local conference. Now it's August. Back to everyday life. Or not 'back'. Because we haven't been here before. Tim's looking for work. It's a season we don't know how long will last.
I've been looking forward to this change. Tim and I have been studying the whole time we've been together, so I'm used to having him around, being part of everyday family life, negotiating our roles and expectations as big assignments arise or a new baby comes, or Tim takes on some part time work. But this is different. This is unemployment. All that time to look after the kids while I sit at the sewing machine. (Can you see where this is going??)
So, this morning, Tim and I came to the unfortunate realisation that our expectations about how this season would be spent were quite different from each other. He's been longing for a break. Me too. He's been wanting to bury himself in a pile of things he's put off. Me too. He's been wanting to sit at his desk uninterrupted... Ok, so our expectations weren't that different, just incompatible.
When we were both at uni, so much of our life was shared. Even after Tully was born, we would study together, host friends together. I was studying History which really interested him and he was studying Engineering which baffled me but I was happy to listen. We had interesting dinner conversation and a life outside the home. Now I like to sew, and I'd like it to fill more of my time. But it's not nearly as exciting as World War Two or politics or the GFC.
How do you navigate a new season together? How do you pursue new interests without just becoming house-mates that just take turns looking after the kids? And how to you hold your dreams lightly, to allow room for the other to hold theirs?
Any ideas?

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I so love your comments! I read all of them and reply when I can. If you don't hear back, I'm lost under a mound of scraps or outside jumping on the trampoline with the kids. Jodi. xx