Wednesday, 21 September 2011

The Things in my Head

I hope you don't mind me occasionally sharing the things that happen in my head. I'm enjoying slowly learning to see the things that wrap me up in myself and stop me caring, creating, living.

I think my little girl is teething. Poor thing. And today was going to be vaccination day. And after our sleepless, sad day yesterday, I decided to put it off.
But this morning, I doubted my decision. Maybe I just wanted another whole day of sewing. Maybe I just wasn't willing to put up with another day of high temperatures and grizzly baby. And for the sake of her long term health. Maybe I was just being very selfish and I should just harden up and get over it.
You know, I'm getting better at listening to the noise in my head. Normally, this would just play over and over till I caved or it hit 4pm and the immunisation clinic closed. But this time, I stopped. And thought, wait. Eve's not well, she's sad. I don't want to add to that. I can wait till next time. I am a caring mother and I'm ok with this decision.
And the noise stopped.

Help me to be kind to myself today
To take a deep breath
Relax my shoulders
To stop and listen
Help me to see life and colour
in what today brings
to be proud of what I achieve
and let go when I don't
Help me do the thing before me
without going back over the list in my head
living completely one thing at a time
Help me not to second guess my motives
Rest in what I've chosen
Care for those around me
Let them be who they are


  1. Good for you! It's a very hard thing to stop and listen AND then still be able to be objective about the brain chatter.
    Hope the little one feels better soon.

  2. I love the line "Rest in what I've chosen" that is something I find very hard to do.


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